What Works for You – Meditation or a Hershey Bar?

How does a fast-paced professional sustain her energy … and redirect her attention to what really matters, rather than the flurry around her?

I got a chance the other day to learn something on this question from Judi Cantor. Over the last couple of decades, Judi has been facilitating philanthropic collaborations between donors and the likes of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, the American Museum of Natural History, and now the Children’s Museum of Boston (where she serves as VP for Development).

Judi began by telling me about her interest in biography, of all things …

I’m fascinated with biographies. Give me a biography, and I’m a happy gal until I finish it.

It’s all about the story of people’s lives and how that comes together. How do you achieve what you want to achieve and get through the ups and downs that life has to offer? I find that absolutely captivating. And Jim, you’re the one who puts it into context.

(Well, I do try to guide folks who perhaps aren’t as naturally inclined to admire and appreciate the stories in a person’s life.)

And what I heard is that in her work she gets to actually engage with the living biography of a person. She has a chance to influence how it turns out. (Maybe you do, too.)

You see, it’s not just the history that interests her, but it’s also the future.

Judi let me see that an attraction to story, and in particular biography, can be a powerful interest, an asset – a talent — that can be very useful in influencing and inspiring people … even more than the usual good advice to enhance our “listening skills.”

After all, when you let yourself be genuinely interested in someone’s story, you’re shining light on it, appreciating it. It grows in value to the person.

There’s something more: That authentic interest in someone’s story creates a natural opening to join together in writing the rest of the story – what happens from here forward.

That’s pretty fancy theory, perhaps. It’s useful to me because understanding the power of story – why story is so important – gives us a reason to take time and seek out these narratives.

I wondered out loud if Judi had an example of a living biography for us? So I asked her if she could tell of time when she got to step into a person’s story and influence how it turned out.

Actually, I do. It’s from the American Museum of Natural History. It’s a wonderful couple I still stay in touch with. They’re phenomenal.

They called me up and said, “We’re really interested in a life income gift.”

I brought them into the museum, and as we toured the dioramas, they started talking about their daughter.

This is going to make me cry. They started talking about how they would bring her to the museum, and there were certain dioramas that she really loved when she was a little girl.

She had been killed in the Lockerbie terrorist attack. She was getting her master’s in art in Italy, and she was flying back to the United States to her university.

That day, they decided they were going to honor their daughter, and they gave the museum $1 million. We had so much fun telling their story and taking their picture in front of their favorite diorama, which was a diorama of gorillas. It was a blast.

I still see them and talk to them. One of the first things Arnold will say is, “You’re the first person who really cared about us.” It makes me feel really good.

In a lot of ways, Judi’s just let herself be shown as who she is. She cares about people. She allows herself to care about people in this sort of circumstance, and lets who she is show through. She slows down enough so that she can take the time for that.

Yet I know that she lives a pretty intense and full life. A lot of the time, she’s on the go. I asked her how it is that she slows herself down?

Meditation has really helped me. I used to be running all the time. I finally realized that in order to listen to someone, you really need to be present, like you taught. In order for me to be present, I need a little bit of meditation every day.

Speaking of meditation, another thing that works for Judi is exercise. I told Judi how I remembered that when we were at Cambridge, one morning or during the lunch break, she was going over to one of the gyms to do an aerobics class. And that it was evidence of her taking care of herself and knowing that was part of what was important. After all, she’d traveled overseas for a workshop. She could’ve said, “I’ll forgo exercise for a while,” but she didn’t. More power to her.

Biography, meditation, exercise… worthwhile in of themselves, but also very valuable for how they support Judi – how they can support a person to be available, to be present to what shows up.

And then something happened I’ve just gotta include for you here.

You know how you end a conversation, and then as you reach for the door or begin to hang up — you want more because you like the person, you want to stay in that space?

Well, I was just then thinking about a book, a coffee-table book of magnificent photographs that Judi gave me after she had introduced me to her friend, Brad Washborn, the photographer and mountain climber.

This is so sweet. It’s one more insight into doing whatever it is that works for you …

He climbed most of the mountains in the world, and he did all the topology on them. He was the photographer. He was an incredible engineer in terms of working up the photography for all these mountain peaks. He was an amazing guy.

Do you know what he said his life secret was?

It was a Hershey’s bar a day at lunchtime.

He was a tiny, wiry guy. He always carried a Hershey’s bar.

Ahhh.

We each have our own idiosyncratic processes, and often could benefit from valuing them more.

(By the way, education is a shortcut – so you don’t have to try everything yourself. Your horizons and options can expand as you learn from the experiences of others, like Judi.)

Now, what will work best for me now, a little meditation or a Hershey bar? What works for you?